Tony Parker has just dropped his new single Blance Trois, along with a slammin' new video to accompany it. Ohhhh Tony, Tony, Tony (no intended allusions to the 90s R & B group there).
Could he not come up with anything more original for his second foray into (what he hopes to be) hip-hop stardom? Besised the fact that with his cammo hoodie, tilted hat, and tinted sunnies, he looks just like the Lou's own Chingy, the video is rife with so many other stockstandard items that make any hip-hop aficionado* or expert yawn.
Tony and his peeps (I'm certain he carries enough street cred from his days on the tough streets of Bruges, Belgium to call his cronies "peeps") climbing out of an enormous Escalade in slow motion? Close-ups on the rims and the grill? How innovative. Jumping the queue at "da club?" The camera inching closer to the gyrating birthing hips of the big booty video hos? Tony's posse members flanked by straight-haired mamis looking like there's nothing they'd rather do than carress men's chests? Ground-breaking.A slow motion cigar exhale by a member of his entourage whilst in the VIP room? RIP, Biggie. Oakland Raider-esque cheerleaders performing a Sean Paul-inspired simultaneous chest/butt pump during the chorus? Dancehall does better. A slew of light-skinned African-American and Asian models sucking on lollipops? Hello, junior year "The Politics of Whiteness" with Dr Anthony. Make that sophomore year "Sociology of Hip-Hop" with Dr Glover as well. Little kid's voice slightly warped and cuteness exploited? I believe Missy makes far better use of Lilliputians who can at least get their groove on. And finally, pink polos? I think Kanye has the trademark on bringing back prep to the Roc. Only he can pull off a Chanel brooch, Lavar Burton sunnies, and 50s cardie during his Australian tour; let's be honest:
But back to the issue at hand. I'm disappointed, Tony. France has the largest hip-hop market outside the USA, and this is the sameold sameold with which you blow America's collective mind? I'll stick with Edith Piaf and Air for my French musix fix, thanksverymuch.
Though you are very cute. Touché. Damn it, Eva.
*Did you know aficionado is Spanish for "amateur" or "fan," even though it's nearly always used to denote the very opposite, a master of something? The English picking-and-choosing of-- followed by its butchering and mis-reappropriation of-- the Romance languages disappoints me at times.
Though you are very cute. Touché. Damn it, Eva.
*Did you know aficionado is Spanish for "amateur" or "fan," even though it's nearly always used to denote the very opposite, a master of something? The English picking-and-choosing of-- followed by its butchering and mis-reappropriation of-- the Romance languages disappoints me at times.
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