Homesick, PLAYAS

I do get homesick being down here in the Antipodes; it's true. Besides missing my amazing friends and family (obv), there are certain things I really long for after being away from the US for approx 484 days, including, but not limited to, the following:

• Hip-hop lifestyle pervading the mainstream
• WaWa hoagies, soft preztels, and cappucinos
• Quality bagels
• Pumpkin as a sweet, not a savoury
• Jewish delis and kosher pickles from the barrel
• Triscuits
• Cheesesteaks
• Blue Moon
• Yuengling
• Victoria Secret Very Sexy For Her Perfume
• Cheap generic ibuprofen in bulk
• 'Click' deodorant
• Gap
• H & M
• J Crew
• Ann Taylor
• The self sufficiency of my own car (rollin the Honda)
• Non-erratically scheduled television
• Cheap movies (that premiere at the same time as the Northern Hemisphere)
• TLC, MTV, A&E, Comedy Central

The thing that I also miss-- that prompted me to compose this list-- is something I never really acknowledged I liked in the first place. At the stadium where I work, there is general order to the pre-game entertainment. And since I have to stand on an aisle for two hours before the game starts and before most people arrive, I pretty much have this schedule down pat.

1) Britney's Spear's version of 'My Prerogative;' random country singer's verion of 'I Hope You Dance;' Justin Timberlake's 'What Goes Around Comes Around;' Ciara's 'Goodies'
2) last half of an AFL game from 1-3 years previous, features two teams set to play that day
3) the same commercial for Foxtel played approx. 12 times
4) commercial for Toyota
5) safety announcements
6) club offers
7) that bloody Foxtel commercial again
8) classic Australian song of which I do not know the title

And the most important moment in that entire list? The one that swallowed me in a mini rush of homesickness?

Freaking Ciara.



















I literally was like "Aw, Ciara! Senior Year! Nick's phone ring! Sad"

And it's not that I actually miss trashy southern crunk/misogynistic rap music, per se. It's just that I miss watching Cribs and witnessing southern rapers waste their money from their first album on a giant aquarium and tacky leather couches, or being around people who might want to start their own gold teeth business, or dancing to sistas like Ciara at houseparties, or watching Freestyle Friday on 106 & Park.

It's the possibility of hearing Ciara on the radio that I miss, and the hip-hop culture in general. The Aussies are soo not having that down here.

And I have a theory on why that is so, based on nothing empirical whatsoever. There is something here called the Tall Poppy Syndrome, whereby people who have 'made it' get knocked down by the masses for, well, making it. It's a bit of a Catch-22.

For instance, before his wife died and everyone was paranoid about making any bad comments about him, Rove McManus got a bad rep for 'selling out' and hosting his own show on a big time network. Thing is, he put in the hard yards, or as they say here (disregarding the letter R), 'the hahd yahds,' on community TV and worked hard to get where he got.

Still, people are all 'Waaaaah, he's famous! Waaaaah!' Sort of the Hollywood pasttime of building up celebrities so we can bring them down (which we are quite happy to do, I might add), but with a more populist, anti-snobbery approach.

Which is why, I believe, Aussies are not so down with rappers, particularly ones flaunting gold teeth and new money. Boasting is a core component of hip-hop-- it has been since the beginning. You boast about your neighbourhood, your car, your girlfriend, your money, your jewellery (they spell it with 2 Ls here!). It is just not in the Australian collective blood to brag. They are notoriously self-deprecating and laconic, leaving no room for rappers to do their thang.*

Well, as that voice on Little Britain says when referencing Emily Howard or Daffyd Thomas, 'takes all sorts I suppose.' It is what makes Australia Australia. And if that means there won't be too many blokes walking around with gold teeth, well, I guess that's alright with me.

*There are Australian rappers, but as I've said before, their street cred is hard to sell to a savvy US listener. But props where props are due: I enjoy The Hilltop Hoods, and they redid their entire Hard Road album with the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra (a la my precious Ben and his orchestral tour of Oz). And we did see sime fairly good MCs at First Floor the other night, didn't we? Haha